Synopsis of KILLER KUNG PAOUnwilling to let her auntie squander her golden years in prison, Piper orders a set of How To Be a PI flashcards and sets out to find the real killer. Secrets and suspects sprout up faster than wheat grass, including a handsome tattoo artist, Tattoo Tex, who intrigues Piper more than she'd like to admit. But can she trust him? Piper had better solve the case of the killer kung pao before the murderer turns his sights on victim number two...one sleuthing doctor!
GUEST POST
KILLER KUNG PAO
By Patrice Lyle
BOOK 2: KILLER KARAT CREAM
Diamonds are a girl’s best exfoliater. After Dr. Piper Meadows sends out invitations to an exclusive spa night for holistic professionals to debut Sparkle O’s new Karat Cream – a diamond dust exfoliating cream that experts swear blasts off more layers than dynamite – she’s excited to show off the new organic fountain of youth. But when celebrity dermatologist Dr. Jasmine croaks from a lethal dose of poisoned Karat Cream at Dr. Piper’s event, she must turn to her PI flashcards once more to catch a killer intent on ridding the world of more than just dead skin cells.
BOOK 3: KILLER KALE CHIPS
Who knew kale chips could be deadly?When famous author Veronica Forks drops dead from a bag of poisoned kale chips, suspicion falls on former-Mafioso-turned-surfer-dude Ken, creator of Ken’s Killer Kale Chips. According to Dr. Piper’s PI flashcards, he has the motive (she witnessed a tiff between him and Veronica), the means (the kale chips), and the opportunity. But he’s too cute to be a killer and, as any good PI knows, the flashcards aren’t always right. Plus Aunt Alfa and Brownie are addicted to Ken’s Killer Kale Chips and if Ken’s arrested, Aunt Alfa and Brownie will never snack again. So Dr. Piper takes it upon herself to root out a killer who loves to dabble in kale chips before he or she strikes again.
Author Bio:
Patrice Lyle loves green smoothies, dark chocolate, mysteries, and humor. She wove these elements together when she created the Health Nut Mysteries, a cozy series about a naturopathic doctor who solves mysteries at health expos. Patrice also writes paranormal young adult and middle grade fiction, as well as holistic medical suspense. She has an MA in Writing Popular Fiction and a PhD in Holistic Nutrition. She's also a Certified Traditional Naturopath. She now lives in Florida with her husband and two kitties, and is a firm believer in the theory that laughter is the best medicine.
Excerpt:
"Hey, Pipe." She planted a kiss on my cheek. "You'll never guess what happened on our walk. It was the craziest thing."
Even though it had only been a couple hours since I'd last seen her, I gave her a quick hug. "I was wondering where you—"
And that was when I noticed the suspicious pink snout sticking out of the side zipper of Aunt Alfa's bag. Oh, holy chocolate babka to the nth degree.
"You heard that yoga girl at registration," I said quietly. "Animals aren't allowed in here, and we have to follow the rules."
She pursed her lips as if she were sucking a lemon, which she did every day because lemons are great for the liver, and pointed at a woman nearby who was accompanied by a guide dog. "Check out that dog. Studies have shown pigs are fourth on the intelligence roll, behind humans, primates, and dolphins."
I was familiar with the study because she talked about it all the time.
"It's rude to point." I gently lowered my auntie's arm before someone noticed her. "That woman is blind, Aunt Alfa. Guide dogs are always allowed."
"I know." Aunt Alfa crumpled up her Cosmic Cake wrapper and tossed it into a nearby trashcan, making the shot like a basketball star. "Our piglet should be allowed too because he's smart enough to be a guide pig. Besides, I'm ninety-one years old. I defy anyone to stop me."
A nonagenarian with a 'tude was what her dead ex-boyfriend had called Aunt Alfa during the nightmare séance. I feared he might have been on to something.
"I don't like it either, Aunt Alfa, but you have to take Brownie to our room."
"You know how depressed he gets alone. He'll pig out." She jutted out her crepe-paper jaw. "I can't believe I forgot Charlotte's Web. That's the only movie he likes."
Finally, progress. "Actually, he loves Babe, and I brought the DVD with me."
"Really?"
"Yeah. We watched it last weekend, and he sniffled at all the sad parts." I'd been in major Floyd-avoid-mode so I'd spent my Friday night curled up with a movie, a bag of dark chocolate chip cookies, and a piglet.
Aunt Alfa shot me her pity grin. "He was just being polite, Pipe."
That figured. Guys were all the same. Even the potbelly breeds.
Aunt Alfa rose on her toes and glanced around the room. "I'm going to find the manager and force him to see things my way."
Oh, no. Had I made a mistake insisting she come? I'd worried about her starting a riot at my condo complex while I was gone, but I hadn't considered the consequences at the expo.
"You have to take Brownie to our hotel room," I said. "Seriously."
Brownie must have recognized his name because just then a high-pitched, someone's-murdering-me piglet squeal erupted from her bag.
Weee. Weee. Weeeeeeeeeeee.
Several people turned in response. One woman having a tarot card reading by the yellow-turbaned psychic looked perturbed and asked, "Was that… a pig?"
Then a sneeze louder than a New York City firework festival rang out. Followed by a coughing attack.
"Mystic Ming allergic to pig," a familiar voice choked out. "Ming berry berry allergic to many things."
I turned to see Mystic Ming wobbling in the aisle across from me. Then his skinny legs buckled, and his face lightened to the shade of a marshmallow. Right before he collapsed onto the expo floor.
Giveaway: $20 Amazon Gift Card
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Thanks for hosting me today Christa. Have a FAB & Healthy Day!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure!
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